WTH?

I’ve been having numerous Internet problems the past few days and I apologize for delays. Somehow my IP address was cross server stratified and I was picking up some outside traffic. I’m still trying to figure out this IM message that popped up a couple of days ago:

Dick C: Yeah, Britney, I need your help.
Britney: Sure, Dick, anything…
Dick C: I want to invade Iran.
Britney: I thought you already did?
Dick: That’s Iraq, but I know it’s hard for you to keep track. Listen, I took a lot of heat for that 9/11 thing. Too much press, way too much. Like right now, everyone knows I’ve got a couple of carriers off the coast of Iran.
Britney: *belches*
Dick C: So flying another missile into the Pentagon is out. Too many people figured that one out. Need something else in the headlines.
Britney: Me. Me. Me?
Dick C: Yeah, you. You won’t even have to shave “down there.”
Britney: You liked?
Dick C: Let’s just say that someone close to me liked it a lot more. But that’s a private matter.
Britney: *giggles* No shaving?
Dick C: Yeah. You know what, that might work. How about your head?
Britney: My hair? My hair!
Dick C: Yeah, your hair. And rehab, too. Couple of times. Might take me a few days. Iran is a lot bigger than Iraq.
Britney: I’m supposed to shave my head and go into rehab so you can invade Iraq?
Dick C: Iran, try to keep up. Yeah, the “Truthers” are on to me. Gotta keep it out of the headlines. That guy with the rabbit cage almost figured out the Twin Towers last time. We’ll get you some lice. Or just make it up.
Britney: Yuck 😦  So I’m supposed to go into rehab?
Dick C: And then come out again. Then, go in again.
Britney: How many times?
Dick C: Just keep doing it. For your country.
Britney: *belches* Ok, I’ll do it.
Dick C: Great, TTYL
Britney: TTYL 🙂

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